This is something that has been bothering me for a while

The fact that while my orientation isn't well known it's already developed stereotypes that fuck up how I interact with others.
Because I'm asexual I must:

• Not like sex at all ever.
• Not like to talk about sex ever.
• Not like it when people check me out.
• Be uncomfortable around "sexuals."
• Never want to engage in sex at all.
• Have no desire or reason to have sex.
• Not be flirty at all for any reason.
• Never want to have sex with someone.

Holy fuck, people. Stop this. Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean any of those. The only thing being asexual means is that I do not experience sexual attraction. The rest of these purported traits are simply stereotypes. Not all gay men have sex indiscriminately. Not all heterosexual men only want women for sex. Not all asexuals lack a sex drive.

Putting in a page break to warn my sister that she may find the rest of this post awkward to read.

30 Day Ace Meme- Day 3

3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it?
This many.
I've always known on some level but I was in denial for a very long time. I just assumed that I was some weird-o freak and that none of my relationships would ever work out because we'd always be wanting different things. To be honest I just thought that my childhood broke something in me and that it was never going to be fixed.
But the first time I ever had a word for what I was was not very long ago. Sometime this year, I know. This summer. You could probably guess about the time I found out from my blog since I did post a thing about it when I did find out. So there give or take a few days.
For a while I thought that I couldn't possibly be ace because I didn't fit every singe criteria on the info page but it felt so right and perfect that I just sort of knew that that's what I was. I don't think I have language enough to describe the relief I felt at finally being able to put a word to what I was and know that there were others out there like me.

30 Day Ace Meme- Day 2

2. Are you out? To whom?
I don't like the phrase "out". It implies that every sexuality that isn't straight is at some point in one's life shameful and I am not ashamed or embarrassed to be who I am. On that same note, however, I'm not going to go around shouting HEY GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?! I'M ASEXUAL! I don't see the point in it. If someone asks I'll tell them. If they don't ask I see no reason to tell them. I obviously am not doing anything to hide the fact that I'm ace (exhibit a: this blog) but that doesn't mean I'm going to go around putting it on business cards or anything. It's just one part of who I am. It's not even all that important. It doesn't dictate how I interact with others or how others treat me so it doesn't really matter much.

30 Day Ace Meme- Day 1

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation?
Panromantic asexual is what I go by.
But in the way I think of it gender doesn't matter at all. It's not what someone is that interests me but who someone is. I am far more interested in people's minds than their bodies and that's why I consider myself an equal opportunity employer. As far as sex I'm one of those aces who is largely indifferent to sex. If someone I love wants it and I've got time and don't want to do anything else then sure but otherwise I'm entirely uninterested in it.

So I solved it

Turns out all it took to solve my sexuality (non)crisis was google (ALL HAIL THE OVERLORD) and a really awesome chatroom.
Turns out that all this self-hate and discomfort with who I am has stemmed from a really weird denial. Like the weirdest kind you can think of.
Seriously doubt anyone I know will see this coming but....


I'm asexual.
Specifically (And to be a douche) I'm a panromantic asexual.
There. Said it. Done with it. If you want more information on what that means go HERE.
And that's it. I'm done talking about it for a while.
In a bit I'll come back and explain but for now. That's all I can offer.