Sunday, August 7, 2011

I Have Insomnia

And I don’t mean it’s-hard-for-me-to-fall-asleep-sometimes-when-I’m-stressed but full out there-are-days-where-I-just-don’t-sleep-at-all and no matter how exhausted I am I just don’t get sleepy. In the past week I’ve had about fifteen hours of sleep— in seven days.
People are supposed to get about fifty four to sixty hours of sleep. My max a week is usually forty hours. My average is twenty four hours.
That’s three and a half hours of sleep a night on average at twenty four hours of sleep a week.
I know all of this because when I lay awake at night trying to sleep I do this in my head. I keep a close track on the hours of sleep I get a night because every one of them is important.
It’s four fifteen in the morning and I haven’t slept a restful night since the beginning of July.
I’m not saying this for pity or for sympathy. I’m saying this because when I get this tired I can’t stop myself. I honestly would rather not be writing this and I most definitely don’t want to post it but I will anyway because at this level of exhaustion I am compelled to make confessions about the things that I keep to myself.

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